63rd over: New Zealand 276-0 (Latham 129, Conway 137) In fact Bashir has changed ends again. He bowled accurately this morning but is starting to lose control. A short ball is larruped for four by Latham.
62nd over: New Zealand 268-0 (Latham 122. Conway 136) Atkinson replaces Bashir, who was starting to take some hammer from Conway in particular. Conway hooks brilliantly for four, expertly bisecting the two deep fielders.
Romeo points out that this is New Zealand’s highest partnership for any wicket in a Test in England. It’ll soon be their highest against England too: the current is 276 by the brilliant Stewie Dempster. Jackie Mills in 1930.
61st over: New Zealand 262-0 (Latham 121, Conway 131) Conway hooks Tongue for his second six in as many overs. He’s spent most of the series fighting for every single run but there’s a carefree air to his innings now. He pulls another short ball just wide of Duckett, diving to his right at short midwicket,. then there’s a break in play while the umpires change the ball. It’s been whacked out of shape.
Latham pulls the replacement smoothly round the corner for four. But Tongue is causing a few problems. the over ends with a top-edge that falls short of Bethell at fine leg.
60th over: New Zealand 249-0 (Latham 115, Conway 124) Conway charges Bashir. smokes a full toss over midwicket for six. England consider a review when the ball deflects to slip via the pad, but there was no inside-edge. Stokes decides against it. Conway ends the over with another boundary.
“Brendon McCullum must be despairing of his countrymen here,” says David Hopkins. “Calmly taking advantage of favourable conditions to bat themselves into a commanding lead would never happen on his watch. By now they should be at least four down through miscued scoop shots or similar macho posturing.”
59th over: New Zealand 237-0 (Latham 115, Conway 112) Time for some short stuff from Josh Tongue. In truth it’s a surprise that England waited nearly 60 overs before trying it. A decent first over includes a clothed pull from Conway that lands short of the man at cow corner.
This is now the highest opening partnership against England since 2003, when What’s-His-Name. Herschelle Gibbs slapped a decent England attack – Anderson, Gough, Flintoff, Harmison, Giles, Butcher – all round Edgbaston.
“Sitting here in 31C temperatures with a whisky listening to an appropriate tune,” chirps Matthew Lawrenson.
58th over: New Zealand 233-0 (Latham 112. Conway 111) A long hop from Bashir is violated through midwicket for four by Conway. England are in a world of trouble here.
57th over: New Zealand 228-0 (Latham 111. Conway 107) Tongue replaces Bethell, whose brief introduction was to facilitate a change of ends. An inswinger is flicked extravagantly over square leg for four by Conway. who is starting to play with the freedom of old. That’s the last thing England need.
“If info on Old Trafford 1976 is what you’re after. you know where to come,” writes our old friend Mike Selvey. “Btw Close faced every single ball from Holding in that 80 minutes. He was 1 not out at the close. JE wasn’t battered.”
Selve is too modest to remind us that, earlier in that game, he ran through West Indies’ top order.
56th over: New Zealand 223-0 (Latham 110, Conway 103) Bashir has changed ends after tea. Conway pumps him over mid-on for four to move to 99. then square drives a classy boundary to reach his eighth Test hundred.
Nothing will top the first, a double on debut at Lord’s,. Conway will cherish this innings because he has looked out of form all series.
“Despite the conditions, the number of runs scored must be roughly par for a Test session,” says John Starbuck. “300 or so at the end of the day’s play is pretty much what we used to expect. Granted, no wickets, but that’s down mainly to the heat, the ground. bad luck, all of which applies to everyone at some time. Rationality, be my friend.”
Friend? I thought it got cancelled in 2016.
55th over: New Zealand 215-0 (Latham 110. Conway 95) Jacob Bethell comes on after tea for his first bowl of the match. He starts with a full toss but then beats Conway with consecutive deliveries. Small sample size but Bethell’s bowling average of 29.87 is the best of any England spinner since… Scott Borthwick.
“This pitch is appalling,” writes Phil Harrison. “Every bit as bad as the Lord’s one. Arguably worse as Lord’s was absolutely fair to both teams - it misbehaved throughout. This one puts way too much premium on winning the toss - it did nothing, even with the new ball. The team bowling first haven’t really had a chance.”
Didn’t we say something similar when Pakistan piled up 556 at Multan in 2024?
54th over: New Zealand 213-0 (Latham 109. Conway 94) Atkinson saves two runs with a good stop on the third boundary. Latham squirts Tongue for a single to conclude another unblemished session for New Zealand. They’ll be wary of their last visit to Trent Bridge, when they were 405 for 4 in their first innings. still took a hammering, but right now they are in a glorious position.
“I’m following you not the game so keen to know whether you reckon this pitch is as bad. in a different way, to the one at Lord’s or whether it will give us a proper five-day game,” wonders Jeremy Smith. “I guess we’ll only know after England bat, if we ever get to that point..”
With the caveat that nobody knows anything, I suspect it will turn as the match progresses, particularly in this heat. I’d say a bore draw is unlikely,. if I had a farm I’d be tempted to put it on Mitch Santner winning player of the match.
53rd over: New Zealand 208-0 (Latham 105. Conway 93) The aforementioned Trent Bridge Test of 1989 was the last time England spent an entire day in the field without taking a wicket. Stokes is trying everything to change that – this is his sixth over on the bounce. so he’s approaching the halfway point of his second spell.
Given the subcontinental nature of conditions, England really could have done with Ollie Robinson ( 2022-23 version ). I guess they were worried about the 2023-24 version turning up.
52nd over: New Zealand 206-0 (Latham 104, Conway 92) Tongue replaces Bashir. bowls a hostile maiden to Latham, including a couple of inside-edges onto the pad. The first threatened to loop to gully before eventually falling short.
51st over: New Zealand 206-0 (Latham 104. Conway 92) Latham slashes Stokes over gully for four to bring up the 200 opening partnership. He flicks the next ball to the fine leg boundary to reach a ruthless, tone-setting hundred from just 149 balls.
The concept of a captain’s innings usually evokes over-my-dead-body defiance – Allan Border, Athers at Jo’burg –. in the 21st century that isn’t necessarily the case. Latham’s strike rate is just under 70 and he has put New Zealand in an outstanding position.
50th over: New Zealand 197-0 (Latham 95, Conway 92) “I was hoping to go to Trent Bridge tomorrow. East Midlands Railway have cancelled half the trains,” writes Emma John. “Given the score I find that, for once, I’m quite grateful to the train company…”
49th over: New Zealand 193-0 (Latham 95. Conway 88) No luck for Stokes, who snakes a good delivery past Latham’s outside edge. Latham is closing in on his 17th Test century, which would put him level with the mighty Martin Crowe. Only Kane Williamson (33) and Ross Taylor (19) have scored more for New Zealand.
48th over: New Zealand 189-0 (Latham 92. Conway 87) Bashir beats Latham with a nice delivery, bowled deliberately at about 20mph. An overzealous misfield from Stokes at mid-off gives Latham three runs.
Incidentally a couple of deliveries bowled by Stokes have already gone through the top, which is a) reasonably ominous for England. b) very encouraging for Mitchell Santner.
47th over: New Zealand 186-0 (Latham 89, Conway 87) More swing for Stokes, orthodox not reverse. It makes you wonder whether England should bring on Harry Brook at the other end.
Stokes is bowling a terrific spell, trying everything to extract blood from the stone,. has an LBW appeal against Lathan turned down. He was bowling over the wicket so it almost certainly pitched outside leg.
46th over: New Zealand 185-0 (Latham 88. Conway 87) Bashir is scrunched through mid-on for four by Conway, who is starting to resemble the guy who took England to the cleaners in his debut Test series five years ago.
“Of course the good news,” writes Michael Meagher. “is that Joe Root will overtake Sachin Tendulkar during England’s first innings …”
45th over: New Zealand 176-0 (Latham 87. Conway 83) A lifting delivery from Stokes is almost dragged onto the stumps by Latham. He jumped onto the back foot and deflected the ball just past off stump.
Stokes is getting a hint of swing, maybe even a soupçon, and looks threatening. His overall record on this ground is modest but he swung Australia to defeat with a forgotten six-for in 2015. It’s forgotten because Daniel’s favourite meeting time occurred in the first innings.
44th over: New Zealand 176-0 (Latham 84. Conway 72) Conway drives Bashir gunbarrel striaght for four to move into the eighties. He’s had a really tough couple of months but is playing fluently now.
Since you asked, the last time England drew a series decider was Matt Prior’s match in New Zealand in 2012-13. The last time they did so at home was against India at The Oval in 2002, when Michael Vaughan. Rahul Dravid made huge centuries and Ms Dynamite was in the top five of the hit parade.
43rd over: New Zealand 170-0 (Latham 82, Conway 77) Stokes replaces Archer. starts with an accurate over, one from it.
“If it gets gruesomely hot. the players are removed from the field, do you think Sky will put on highlights of the 1976 Old Trafford Test v the West Indies which will be 50 years ago in a couple of weeks?” writes Matthew Lawrenson. “The battering Close and Edrich took was less one-sided than this.”
That’s a nice line, but the pedant in me isn’t having it. In this game. New Zealand are cruising on a flat deck; in 1976, some poor old quadragenarian was controlling 95mph+ bumpers on the chest like a centre-back.
42nd over: New Zealand 169-0 (Latham 82. Conway 77) Conway unwittingly takes one hand off the bat while miscuing a drive off Bashir. But when Bashir drops fractionally short, Conway steers an accomplished boundary past backward point.
The Fear, Rob,” writes Gary Naylor. “The Fear.”
The sound of loneliness turned up to ten?
Thanks Daniel, hello everyone. Did you know. of course you knew, there’s been only one 200+ opening partnership against England in the last 15 years. It came, oddly enough, in one of England’s finest victories, the miracle of Rawalpindi in 2022-23.
Righto, my watch is over; here’s the great Rob Smyth to coax you through England’s spellbinding comeback.
41st over: New Zealand 164-0 (Latham 81, Conway 73) Oh my days, remember earlier when England burned a review they must’ve felt wasn’t out for fear of not reviewing. it being out? Well. that one last over, when I said Conway edged on to his pad because I actually heard Jamie Smith saying so? Er, it was bat first and, had they gone upstairs, it would’ve been gone. There’ll be some nausea in those England intestines when they find out,. to compound the sickness they don’t even know is in the post, Latham opens the face to earn four through third, then a single and a two follow – though Archer is finding some rhythm. And that is drinks…
40th over: New Zealand 157-0 (Latham 76. Conway 71) We’re shown footage of Broad’s memorable day at Trent Bridge in 2015; it can’t just be me who, when scheduling meetings at 8.15 or, on being asked for the time when it’s 8.15, replies with “Stuart Broad”. Latham nurdles a single, then Conway edges on to his pad,. this is bleak stuff for England; it’s surely time for a 94-over spell from the captain.
39th over: New Zealand 156-0 (Latham 75, Conway 71) Conway tries to drive. instead squirts away on the on side; they run one, raising the fifty partnership. Then, after a no-ball, Latham jams down the bat, face open, to redirect through third man for four; that’s a really clever shot. tells us he’s feeling himself.
38th over: New Zealand 149-0 (Latham 70, Conway 70) Three dots, then Bashir flings one down the leg side, Latham can’t get to it. nor can smith, so it whooshes away for four byes; er, maiden.
37th over: New Zealand 145-0 (Latham 70. Conway 70) Latham edges for one, then Smith does really well to save leg-side byes. What can Stokes come up with to winkle a wicket? Well. Bashir is coming back on, at the Radcliffe Road End, rather than the SJB End; at the we shall see.
“Your comment about Bairstow being a great mate reminded me of this by Woody, returns Sushant Kshirsagar.
36th over: New Zealand 144-0 (Latham 69, Conway 70) I meant to mention that, before Archer’s over, Conway took some treatment to his hamstring,. I don’t suppose it’s beyond the realms that cramp is more potent than England’s attack. And, as I type, following a two. a one, Conway opens the face to drive Atkinson through the covers for four.
35th over: New Zealand 137-0 (Latham 66. Conway 66) I guess Stokes plans to use his bowlers in short spells; Archer replaces Tongue as Broad speculates that, later in the match, we might see some reverse swing. Which won’t be much help if England can’t take wickets now and, so far they can’t, Conway flicking a single to backward square before Bethell fumbles. they steal another as he bashes the turf. A bit of hope from the final delivery, though, Archer finding late away-movement to beats Conway’s dangled edge.
34th over: New Zealand 135-0 (Latham 65, Conway 65) After two dots, Atkinson goes around to Latham. he’s kicking up decent pace, high 80s and low 90s, but can he find the breakthrough? He cannot, five dots followed by a paddle to Archer on the cover fence; they run two.
33rd over: New Zealand 133-0 (Latham 63, Conway 65) Latham forces behind square for one, then Conway doesn’t get enough of a drive,. it’s been a slow start to the afternoon.
32nd over: New Zealand 132-0 (Latham 62, Conway 61) Five dots, but then Atkinson is too straight, so Latham twizzles into the on side. they run one.
“I seem to be the only person who has seen Hamilton who finds it insufferable/cringe,” admits Niall Mullen, “like a teacher trying to make history cool by turning his baseball cap backwards. sitting on his chair AC Slater style: ‘You know kids, in many ways, Charles Dickens was the original Chuck D.’”
I absolutely loved and love it, amazing energy, great wordplay, moving themes and banging tunes. This pod deconstructing Satisfied is brilliant.
31st over: New Zealand 131-0 (Latham 61, Conway 61) A thick outside edge. Conway has four more through the slips … from a no ball. So Tongue has to bowl an extra delivery and, when he hangs it outside off, Conway takes a step, bending his knee,. clatters four through cover. That, though, is the line to bowl, reckons Sanga.
Gosh, that swung even more than I thought,. later, but you can tell with the naked eye it’s missing leg stump.
31st over: New Zealand 121-0 (Latham 61, Conway 57) Tongue flings down an inswinging yorker, terrific delivery. beats Conway, rapping the pad; England appeal, nothing doing, and they review. I think it’s missing,. the review is because on a day like today, they can’t have a situation where they miss a wicket more than they can’t waste an opportunity to go upstairs.
‘The most phonaesthetic male cricketer’s name is Zaheer Abbas (although the most phonaesthetic surname is obviously Lara),” reckons Paul Griffin. “The most phonaesthetic fielding position is wicket keeper. No further correspondence will be entered into, unless we need a phonaesthetic World XI".”
30th over: New Zealand 120-0 (Latham 61, Conway 56) Atkinson, probably the pick of the bowlers this morning for the little that’s worth, opens with a full toss. Conway doesn’t miss out, lashing a cover-drive for four. In comms. Sanga recalls the 2006 match at this ground against Sri Lanka in which Murali took eightfer; I remember KP telling me about his shock on turning up to find the groundsman had prepared a dustbowl. Anyhow, Atkinson comes back well after that disappointing start, ceding just a single from the remaining five deliveries,. there’s no sense of pressure building, never mind a wicket coming.
29th over: New Zealand 115-0 (Latham 61, Conway 51) Tongue opens up after lunch. when Conway clouts his second ball through third man for four, the die feels cast; if he and the England bowlers have any sense, they’ll have called Jules Winfield to arrange a close-of-play foot massage. Four singles follow, the first raising Conway’s fifty, and we can’t be far away from a barrage of bouncers.
“Is it too early to start mentioning the 1989 Ashes Test at Trent Bridge?” wonders Steven Pye. “Australia 301/0 at close of play on day one. I haven’t seen this pitch yet, but it sounds as flat as a pancake, so naturally I’m now having flashbacks to the nightmare of Taylor. Marsh.”
I remember it well, Athers. Devon Malcolm’s debuts, Nick Cook in the XI; England lost by an innings and 180.
Righto, back to it we go.
Lunchtime email: “Since we are at Bazball’s spiritual home. are we allowed to to reminisce about the dearly departed?” wonders Nigam Nuggehalli. “Can we say Bazball is dead but its spirit is alive? I once wrote an entire newspaper column on Bazball in the Indian Express; an excerpt is provided below. Do your readers believe that these thoughts are hopelessly dated:
‘The Collins dictionary defines Bazball as a “style of cricket in. the batting side attempts to gain the initiative by playing in a highly aggressive manner”. This describes the phenomenon while also missing its point completely. The aggression is only a symptom.
Bazball has two elements, neither of which are surprising. It encourages people to play without fear. But that’s not the only thing. It also encourages people to immerse themselves in and enjoy their work. Now I don’t know about you but I find both of these very difficult to manage. I want to enjoy my work. work without fear but many things get in my way: the demands of publications, the tedium of marking, and the treadmill of the timetable. I am sure you have your litany of discomforts. But I have not even come to the most remarkable thing about Bazball, which is that it has recognised a critical fact about our agency: one can’t enjoy one’s work. work without fear unless there is a collective approach to this issue. A person cannot just get up one morning and learn to manage his life without fear. It involves a cultural shift, a community and most importantly, leadership. I said this is remarkable but its also a bit of a tragedy. I think we would rather imagine pulling ourselves with our bootstraps and leading our lives fearlessly. The tragedy is that we need a nurturing community to do so,. the presence of such a community is often just a matter of fortune. It happened to the English cricket team but such environments are more propitious than planned.”
I can’t pretend I wasn’t an early acolyte for similar reasons. Earlier, I joked that it was a way of life, but also, I wasn’t exactly joking: we can all use a reminder to take back ourselves. take attacking options. Changing something as resistant as Test cricket is also praiseworthy; we just got a little lost.
I’m off for a lie in the garden; I’ll be back in 30 or so,. until then and, indeed, thereafter, you can chill with Tom Davies, here:
28th over: New Zealand 108-0 (Latham 60, Conway 45) Conway follows a short one, hooking around the corner for one then, after two dots, Latham collars another, taking four to square leg,. that is lunch. It’s been a pleasant morning for NZ, and promises to be a delightful afternoon; England have a problem.
27th over: New Zealand 105-0 (Latham 56, Conway 44) This’ll be the penultimate over afore lunch. Bashir proves nicely, keeping it pretty straight and full; a single to each batter keeps the scoreboard moving.
26th over: New Zealand 101-0 (Latham 55. Conway 43) Stokes is settling into his discomfort, sending down five dots – the last of them from around. He stays there, but drops short,. Conway shmeisses him to the point fence via cut, raising NZ’s hundred in the process.
“Arguably the ultimate, at least in one sense, phonaesthetic word: hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia,” writes Iain Pearson, “the fear of long words. I understand that doubling the second last ‘p’ is also an acceptable spelling.”
25th over: New Zealand 97-0 (Latham 55, Conway 38) Another Bashir over, more slow accumulation, this time by way of three singles, one to Latham. two to Conway.
Though Stephen Sondheim is usually cited as the cleverest lyricist in musical theatre,” says Gary Naylor. there are so many more who understand the feel of individual words. the cadences of them strung together and backed by a rhythm. That so many grew up with English as an additional language in the household surely played a part in their cherishing of the language’s possibilities. Here’s Oscar Hammerstein II at his considerable best.”
I love this note Sondheim writes to Lin-Manuel Miranda, having seen a draft of Hamilton.
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24th over: New Zealand 94-0 (Latham 54, Conway 37) Latham drives towards the point fence, they run two,. that’s his 50; he celebrates by playing and missing, then going hard at a short, wide one that’s top-edged over the cordon for four. My knees are aching at the mere thought of what the England bowlers are going to experience today.
23rd over: New Zealand 88-0 (Latham 48, Conway 37) More singles taken off Bashir, three of them,. he’s just about holding an end down, his seven overs conceding 25. Conway. though, will be vexed not to have splattered the final delivery of this over, a full toss that deserved punishment.
“My hunch is that probably isn’t iconic,” laments Robin Durie. “The etymology indicates that the root is shared with words like & &. with indicating a direction of movement; then appears to derive from Old Norse, meaning ‘turned the wrong way’, so that comes to mean ‘in the wrong direction’.
I suspect there’s probably a bit of visual projection going on. because there’s a relatively unusual cluster of consonants - - plus a single vowel repeated - which makes the word look, well, awkward, to the eyes of an English speaker.
By the way - most forms of evolutionary psychology, & I’d lump evolutionary lingustics in there, are pseudo-science. They begin by cherry-picking examples, to fit a pre-established hypothesis, & then, lo. behold, the hypothesis drawn from the examples appears to be confirmed by the examples! Counterfactuals, by way of contrast to the methods of genuine science, are rarely taken into account. All of this points to why Saussure is so important - he developed a genuinely scientific approach to the study of language!”
22nd over: New Zealand 85-0 (Latham 46. Conway 36) Latham bumps two to cover then, after three singles, a leg-stump half-volley is flicked to the midwicket fence by Conway. I wonder if Stokes moving. slip out before the ball went directly to the vacated area will become this match’s motif.
21st over: New Zealand 76-0 (Latham 42, Conway 31) Other … phonaesthetic words: gimp, snide, arrogant, drunk, irregular. Otherwise, are NZ starting to milk Bashir? He’s now bowled six overs – that can’t’ve happened often. a spinner on for a proper spell so early in a day’s play. And I get it, he needs to feel part of the match, but I wonder if England will regret not letting the quicks use the new ball to its fullest extent, because he’s not threatening a wicket. there’ll be plenty of time for that this afternoon. Six off the over, a two and a one to each batter.
20th over: New Zealand 70-0 (Latham 39, Conway 28) It’d be just like Stokes to finagle a first-over wicket. he’s on the money immediately, Latham edging and scabbing one. But then Conway lasers a drive to the fence at cover. the over ceding six.
“Now this is why I love the Guardian OBO!” says Victor Manley. Early doors chat about the structure of words. My favourite phonaesthetic word (don’t pretend like you don’t have one), is ‘bicycle’ which both suggests momentum. a certain clicky machine unreliability. PLUS, as if that weren’t enough, the ‘cyc’ element kinda looks like a bike! What a world, eh?
Just to make it more crickety, the most famous word which looks like what is, is ‘bed’. As in ‘this pitch is a rotten feather bed’”.
That reminds me of a gag about the laziest letter in the alphabet – e because it’s always in bed. It’s the way I tell em.
19th over: New Zealand 64-0 (Latham 38, Conway 23) Bashir sends down four dots, then Latham pushes two to cover. adds a single to midwicket; cheers indicate that, next up, we’ll have an over form Ben Stokes.
“On the subject of words that do what they describe,” says Matt Dony, “I know perfectly well that ‘panicked’ is the correct spelling,. that K has never, ever looked right to me. Which has meant I’ve had a slight panic whenever I’ve had to include the word in any official reports I’ve had to write. (Fortunately, this is less of an issue in my current job than previous ones. Incident -eporting may well involve recording a panicked decision. Selling coffee, less so.) I wonder how often that word has been used when debriefing an England team selection?”
I know what you mean,. paniced sounds like sounds like a stupor into which one might fall after scarfing too many fried items.
18th over: New Zealand 61-0 (Latham 35, Conway 23) Latham takes a single down the ground. Sanga joins the commentary; gosh, I bet England are glad he’s not out in the middle, because this looks like the kind of track on which he and Mahela would put on 83,452. Anyhow, Conway then tries to follow a leg-side delivery, almost strangling himself,. slow accumulation looks to be the NZ plan.
17th over: New Zealand 60-0 (Latham 34, Conway 23) Four singles from this latest Bashir over,. he’s doing an OK job of keeping it tight.
“Positively imperial,” says Jim Frayling of Stokes’ new barnet. ‘Some might say Augustine, or indeed Octavian. It’ll be interesting to see if he goes on to destroy the triumvirate regime managing England men’s cricket. Et tu Bob?”
It’s a bit Mr Logic, for mine.
16th over: New Zealand 56-0 (Latham 32, Conway 21) I wonder what kind of exhibition masochism Ben Stokes will treat us to today; I imagine he’ll wait until NZ have more runs. it’s even hotter, but I reckon nine overs into the heat. Tongue goes around to Latham,. it occurs to me that the Barmy Army trumpeter needs to learn the below – from an album I was disappointed to discover contained only four bangers. Goodness me, I’d take that now. Anyhow. five more dots are followed by a Latham drive for two, during which time we learn Stokes is warming up.
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